Your Twenties Are Over

twenties collage

I turned 30 the other night and it was pretty uneventful. No meteors fell from the sky, no wailing or gnashing of teeth, no Armageddon. I spent time with family and friends, I ran out to Home Depot (because it’s the place to be on the weekend), and I changed poop-filled diapers. Shortly before midnight, Jackie leaned over and notified me, “Your twenties are over!”

Thank God.”

This was my gut reaction, my knee-jerk and honest sentiment. My twenties were an exhausting exercise in discernment, wrestling with the “big” life questions, and wondering what the heck God wanted from me. They were also an extremely formative decade, a decade of deepening friendships and questions that would only be answered in God’s time.

I’m not a guy who is in search of everlasting youth or ways to look forever young. I cherish the “wisdom” of grey hairs I already have on my head and honestly I can’t wait to yell at kids from a rocking chair on a porch. It seems that I’m already an old man at heart. So while my twenties were good to me, I had no desire to hold onto them. But, like all things, the ending of my twenties gave me an excuse to pause and do some philosophizing on the subject.

Some call the twenties a “disposable” decade—you don’t have to be a “real adult” yet. No one expects you to really grow up anytime soon. The cultural phenomenon of our “delayed adolescence” (a purposeful postponement of maturity) well into the late-twenties seems to reflect this nonchalance. So we consider it strange when we meet a mature twenty-year old who could care less about partying her nights away (it’s precisely her maturity that we find strange).

“Twenty is the new thirty,” right?

Unless you die at age 24—just like Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati did, after he contracted polio from the poor people he tirelessly served in Turin, Italy. In that case, you better make each day of your twenties seriously count.

Your twenties are an extremely important decade. Life doesn’t “begin” at age 30 or 40, or when you get married, have a kid, or retire. Life is happening now. I believe that the twenties are truly a deciding decade for one’s trajectory in life, for better or for ill. Whatever formation you received as a child and a teenager, you begin to put it all into action in this decade of life and your decisions will ripple into your adult life. Our grandparents’ generation knew this, but we seem to be slower on the upkeep.

My own journey took me from college student at age 20 to working as a firefighter to entering the seminary and discerning the priesthood to (finally) meeting my wife and even being graced with a baby at age 29. In the last ten years, I was blessd to see Ireland, Italy, Kenya, Scotland, and even Canada (eh!). I’ve matured and been tested through adventures and misadventures. I’ve had fantastic and gut-wrenching moments in ministry, and I’ve watched my prayer life deepen each year as I daily attempt to turn my life over to Jesus Christ.

My journey is my own and we all have a different story to tell. I think it’s only a pity if we look back at the years and suspect we learned nothing or did naught but “waste time.”

For motivational reading on getting your butt into gear, I highly recommend the Art of Manliness post on not wasting your twenties or reading “The Defining Decade” by Dr. Meg Jay.

Your twenties aren’t the decade to delay maturation, but the time to start looking outward and consider, “What will I leave this world?” Ask the scary question, “God, what do You want for my life?” Be open to missionary work or checking out a religious community. Go deeper in study and foster meaningful friendships. Feed your interior life with spiritual reading and time in adoration. Limit your debt. Swim against the tide of peer pressure that surrounds binge drinking and “hooking up” in meaningless encounters. Root out pornography and any other unhealthy crutches. Your later years will thank you for it.

I won’t be around forever and I don’t have forever to accomplish the tasks I want to here on earth. While I enjoyed my twenties, I have no desire to return to them.


Now go live!

“Your twenties are over.”

“Thank God.”

I have more life to live while I still have it.



PS:  We will be posting soon about the birth story of our daughter Abigail, I promise!


  One thought on “Your Twenties Are Over

  1. Carolyn
    September 18, 2014 at 10:47 am

    Very good! At 60 yrs old I’ll tell you each decade is special and has its own challenges and rewards! Don’t waste any time God gives you for you are not promised more than the present moment.

  2. Annie
    September 18, 2014 at 1:54 pm

    Love the way in which you write, really makes one think about their age in a different light.

  3. September 18, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    Thank you Bobby for posting this! It’s posted right on my 23rd birthday so I’m taking it as a birthday good wish haha. Thanks!

  4. September 20, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    Thanks for this. It’s good to be reminded that our twenties have a lot of meaning besides just whether we were able to meet certain milestones like finishing college, getting married, or having children. I just turned 25 and have been blessed with opportunities to travel to 4 new countries, do a year of missionary work, and start graduate school. Here’s hoping the second half is as great as the first was.

  5. jennifer
    September 20, 2014 at 7:50 pm

    Love it! a great idea for an article would be a post about what Catholics believe about evolution and creation! I’ve done extensive research and i still feel like i need guidance! help me please!

  6. Mary
    September 23, 2014 at 2:12 pm

    Thanks for this! Been seeing that “Your 20s are your selfish years…” quote posted all over social media and it drives me crazy! Being selfish is not a virtue, kids! We should be aiming much higher–always to lay down our life in love, no matter what decade we find ourselves in.

  7. mmiller87
    September 25, 2014 at 11:10 am

    Very nice read. I am new to wordpress and I found you in top blogs and am glad this was the first blog I read! Thanks for sharing. I am not long from 30 myself! Less than 3 years to go!

  8. October 25, 2014 at 8:25 pm

    Our twenties are certainly a time of discernment. I find myself a bit uneasy about them ending in the next year or so even though I feel like I have figured out what God wants me to do. Of course every time I think I have figured it out, it turns out I was wrong. :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: