So I’m getting married today.
It’s about 1:00am and, as I imagine most soon-to-be grooms experience, I’m having trouble sleeping.
In about thirteen hours, Jackie Francois will be walking down the aisle towards me—me, a bum from Florida. Man, oh man. I’m also aware that it will likely be a day of mourning for all single, male Catholics ages 14 to 44. I may even have a bounty or two on my head. Guys, all I know is that I must have done something right!
Years ago I grew a beard and tried to give up my life to the Lord, as best as I could. The journey has been long and winding, with plenty of selfish decisions, failures, and re-committing myself to God. Tonight, after our rehearsal dinner, Jackie and I were surrounded by family and friends, resting in a beautiful, beautiful hour of adoration and worship of our Lord, who was present in the sacrament of the Eucharist, and one thought came over and over into my mind:
He is faithful. He is faithful. He is faithful.
I struggled for many years, trying to discern God’s will for my life and how He was calling me to serve. I had to ultimately let go and wait on His timetable, but it’s all been worth it: every lonely moment, every frustrated prayer, every teardrop (is a waterfall) (Coldplay reference).
I’ve watched some friends grow cynical over the years, leaving their faith as if belief in God were something childish or something we simply “graduate” from after middle school. I’ve watched other friends grow lukewarm or numb in their souls, forgetting our call into a divine romance with the Author of life itself. How the Lord wants to pour out every bit of abundant life into our souls! If only we knew! God is faithful!
I have no doubt that I will be a hot mess when Jackie walks down that aisle today. I’m a crier. I pretend not to be, of course. I work at an all-boys Catholic high school, so I hesitate to admit this (they sometimes call me “Mr. Leonidas”)(it’s the beard). But I know that this wedding Mass will be such an experience of divine generosity and the explosion of love in that Church will likely break my heart. It will all be a gift—a free, total, undeservedly radiant gift.
So yeah. I’m gonna cry.
If nothing else I write tonight sticks, know that He is faithful. Trust in His plans for your life, especially if you are in a place of hurt, loneliness, or doubt. He doesn’t want us to settle; He wants to give us gold.
Thank you to all who have shared this journey with Jackie and me. Thank you for the prayers and kind words. I’m off to (attempted) sleep now. There will be more writing to come (after we disappear for awhile) and we’re looking forward to this next chapter of life and ministry.
But first, a wedding feast.
-Bobby
